So, it's already been 5 wks!

Holy smokes! It's already been 5wks since these precious little peanuts made their grand entrance into this world...5wks! Time has really gone by quickly, but in the same breath, our birth experience, our time in the hospital seems like ages ago...weird. Alright, so anyways, 5wks post birth, post c-section, post physically letting the babies go...post, post, post...you get the drift. Many people ask the questions, and many more want to but feel they can't so they "beat around the bush". "How are you doing?"???? 'What do you mean' I want to say back...'say what you mean'! I'm a big girl, I can handle a tough question, I promise you wont make ME uncomfortable!
How am I? Well, c-sections, I realized, ARE NOT bad...the recovery kinda stinks if you're use to bouncing back to normal within hours of birth though! So, I've learned what NOT to do in the first few weeks should I ever have another c-section! Ha! But honestly, for the most part everything is back to normal. I can pick up and hold my little kiddos and am so thankful for that! I am back to work now, another stepping stone towards the path of normalcy.
I sometimes will stop myself from ordering a spicy meal when we are out to eat only to remember...ah,yes! yes I can eat that! I don't suffer from heartburn anymore...yeah, that's right! I can eat WHATEVER I want...WHENEVER I want! Nice perk.
Post birth? Do I feel like somethings missing? Like I forgot my child at the hospital?...um? No! Nope, not in the slightest bit do I feel like I am missing anything. I love Justin and Jillian, oh man do I love them! I can't actually type any words to make someone understand exactly how much love I have for them...that's how strong I feel. But do I feel sad that they are not "with me" anymore? Nope. I just don't, and I don't want that to sound cold or heartless because it is just the opposite. I get to love them so much more now that they are here, so I wouldn't trade this for anything. I had a short time to "love and care for them" and now I get to see, hold, snuggle, kiss...all of the above, any time I choose! It's great! I get to watch Denise & Jeff bask in the glow of new parenthood & that WAS the point of all of this, wasn't it?! Honestly, I had prepped myself to feel a bit of sadness or loneliness. Let me explain...EVERY time I have given birth to my own children, whoa...that's funny to say out loud..."given birth to my OWN children"~as I now need to clarify! Ha! Funny! Ok, sorry, anyways....every time I have given birth to my own children I vividly remember laying in the hospital bed, usually during the 1st night while Kurt is sleeping, baby is sleeping, it's dark out, the hospital is quiet...there I sit~awake and a bit SAD, sad that I am "alone", no more baby within me~it's a little lonely feeling (silly, I know). It was short lived, I always felt better by morning, but nonetheless it was an emotion that followed me during every post birth. EXCEPT this one...figure that one out! I will figure it out for you, it's all God...He protected my emotions like no one could ever have done & for that I am so thankful!
Every once in awhile I will look at Justin & Jillian and think about how they were inside of me, yet they aren't mine, yet they were inside me, yet...yet....whoa. Weird. Wow. Strange. I mean, cool. But, yeah...wow. Huh. Can you kind of imagine the roller coaster of emotions I'm trying to describe? I don't really know how to put the emotions to words...I mean, they aren't bad emotions, it's just different & a little wild!
What an honor, what an amazing journey and amazing to me that God thought me as worthy to go on this journey with Jeff & Denise...just simply amazing. Denise and I have said from the get go, we signed up for the "No Glitch Plan" and that continues to be true even now during this stage of the story...no glitches!