some favorite memories

The days that we spent in the hospital together were filled with so many precious memories that I will always hold in a special place in my heart. I wanted to share a couple of them today...
To conceive even just one baby would have been a miracle, everyone would have been crazy excited! So, when we found out that there were TWO we were "over the moon"! Along with two came a little more anxiety though, for obvious reasons. As hard as we tried to keep the mentality that God was in control and trust that everything would be OK, we also knew that we couldn't be naive. Things happen. We know this. Denise and I have both experienced miscarriages...it happens, and we certainly were not exempt from it happening this time, in fact we had double the chance of it happening~if you will. At any given ultrasound, especially in the beginning we could've seen one healthy thriving baby and then for some "unknown reason", the other baby "just stopped developing". I don't mean to be a downer or sound dramatic but it happens to people EVERYDAY. My point in going there is this....when it actually came to fruition, when these babies were born~actually here where we could see, hear and touch them it was completely overwhelming. There was a huge sigh of relief. On a personal level, not that this is about me at all, but I had some feelings brewing inside of me during this pregnancy that I could just let go of once I saw and knew that Justin and Jillian were here and healthy. I NEEDED for my body to not let me and everyone else down, I just kept thinking to myself..."don't fail me body, don't you DARE fail me, not when my dearest friends and their babies are counting on you". Going into labor at 35wks 1day wasn't my plan. I was realistically hoping for 37 or at least a bit closer to 36...but....
So, for me? One of my many precious memories was when I was able to watch Jeff and Denise each hold BOTH of their babies at the same time, which I think happened on their 3rd day of life. And then to see my husband hold the babies that he helped my body prepare to carry, to see him love babies that weren't his. He had gotten to know them through their crazy late night antics. We had many mornings when he would tell me, "I was holding you last night and Justin was kicking like crazy...or Jillian was NUTS!"...he was finally able to see their faces & that was precious to me. And then for myself to hold them together...well, I still don't have good words to explain that feeling. I remember holding both of their heads in my hands and thinking..."yes, yes!...this is why my ribs hurt! Ha!" and feeling Justins bony little shoulder, I recognized it, it was always visibly protruding right smack in the middle of my tummy!
Ahhh, what a surreal feeling...we did it little kiddos, you are here...this part of the journey~ you and me connected, is over...
Now we are on to bigger and better journeys...an entire lifetime of journeys, I couldn't be happier!